The Award for Corniest Convention Goes To....

Why don't they try to "Win One for the Gipper" while they're at it too?

The Democratic National Convention.

People who have dedicated their lives to speaking to the public with wisdom and insight have decided to give each day of their convention a theme.

The theme for opening night on August 25th will be "One Nation," with a speech by Michelle Obama.

The second night will have a theme of "Renewing America's Promise," with a speech by Hill Dawg (smh).

The theme for day three will be "Securing America's Future," with a speech by the still-unnamed VP candidate.

And to end the whole fiasco, they will close with a "Change You Can Believe In," theme with a speech by Captain Hope himself, Barack Obama.

Just when it couldn't possibly get any worse, it does.

RIP to Bernie Mac and Issac Hayes, two legends....

Weekend reading material

The Phoenix New Times has a VERY long and detailed look back at John McCain's career representing the state of Arizona. It's not the most flattering look. Among the highlights

• McCain went out of his way to humiliate former Arizona governor Rose Mofford on the Senate floor and jeapordizing the credibility of the Central Arizona Project (a bipartisan effort to bring tons of water to the very dry region)
• McCain's now-forgotten role in the Savings & Loan Scandal of the '80's, including his relationships (both business and personal) with Charles Keating, the disgraced chairman of Lincoln Savings & Loan Association
• Even though McCain talks about continuing the legacy of popular Arizona politicians like the (very liberal) former Congressman Mo Udall and former Senator Barry Goldwater (the grandfather of modern conservatism,) he wasn't exactly well-liked in their camps. One of Udall's close associates was horrified when McCain brought a reporter to one of his hospital visits with the ailing former Representative, and Goldwater personally soured on McCain after McCain tried to throw a fundraiser for himself thinly disguised as a tribute to Goldwater
• Cindy McCain used her employee's names at the charity she was running to get painkiller prescriptions filled out. When one employee found out, he was terminated, which eventually led to the charity shutting it's doors.

It's nine pages long, so read it if you've got some free time. But there's some pretty crazy stuff in there about our next maybe president.

Term of the Day: Late Pass

Late Pass: When you say something that somebody else already said like its brand new information.

Example: Hill-Dawg is campaigning for the delegates from Michigan to be seated and heard at the Democratic National Convention in Denver on August 25-28.


That's fine and all, but the problem is....Barack Obama isn't objecting to that anymore, and he already said as much a few days prior.

Hillary, please pick up your late pass, then sit down somewhere.

Obama bites back

So far, the McCain campaign has been doing most of the negative advertising, talking a lot about what Obama will do (raise gas prices, cede our sovereignty to secret Muslims, make a sex tape) but Obama has yet to make an advertisement that does the same to McCain. His ads have been mostly about hugging white people and working together and stuff. But fear not, the Obama campaign has rolled out this gem, which talks entirely about why McCain is bad and says very little about why OBama would be better.



While it would have been nice to show Obama's contrasting positions (what will he do for the middle class,) I will give the Obama camp credit for that hilarious self-ethering quote McCain gave about his support for Bush in 2003.

Play Some Skynyrd Brother!

"Rock on brothers...rock.on.

In an attempt to appeal to the good ol' voter base, John McCain made an appearance at the Sturgis bike rally in South Dakota.

He talked about freedom, ice cold Miller High Life and double barrel shotguns to rally the brothers to come out and vote.

But he forgot the one thing that makes all bikers happy...Lynyrd F***in Synyrd.

I didn't forget though...I got you brother, F***in A.

Admatic: I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that

We here at M&P have been critical of some of the McCain campaign's recent advertisements. So to bring you the fair and balanced coverage you deserve, here's one from the Democratic National Committee that fails in so many ways. It centers on the controversial McCain "Celebrity" ad that not-so-subtly compares Barack Obama to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. Deciding that the only way to attack a not-so-subtle ad is with an ad that takes one point and bashes you over the head with it until you're unconscious, then bashes you with it some more, the DNC rolled out this beauty, featuring a clip of the Arizona senator talking about that ad in Racine, WI (Milwaukee's Rockford.)



Did you catch that? I had to watch it a few times, but I think what they're saying is McCain might have been proud of that commercial. Hard to tell, though.

Aside from the ad's Marge-Simpson-esque (a part of us all) tone, it doesn't exactly say a lot. It tells us nothing about McCain, except that he likes a commercial. Of course he does, he did the whole "I'm John McCain and I approve this message" thing at the end. It's not like he can condemn it now. Besides, he's not going to throw his own campaign staff workers under the bus. And what does his approval of a stupid and likely meaningless ad have to do with anything important?

I sure hope the DNC isn't proud of this commercial.

The Oldest Card in the Deck.

Can you see the glow of the Race Card?

In an effort to maximize the use of cliches in this election, members of John McCain's campaign accused Barack Obama of playing the "race card" on Thursday.

According to John McCain's campaign manager, "Barack Obama has played the race card, and he played it from the bottom of the deck," he said.

Wait, what? (c) Ty

That's right, when he was denouncing Rev. Wright, separating himself from Louis Farrakhan and called the N-word (in an Uncle Tom manner) by Jesse Jackson, he was playing the race card "from the bottom of the deck."

As a black person, I feel it is my duty to inform you that there is no such thing as a race card.

What is the race card supposed to do? What does that even mean?

With all the injustices that black people have endured over the past...let's just be nice and say the last 60 or so years, if we had a magic card that could make it all go away and be on an even plane with white people, DON'T YOU THINK WE WOULD HAVE USED IT BY NOW?

Martin Luther King just had some kind of sick fire hose fetish; he really didn't have to go through with the civil rights activism when he could have just slapped his race card on the table and been done with the matter.

I'm sure Sean Bell would have loved to have a race card handy before he was shot and killed by the NYPD. Frank Jude Jr. (google the name) could have used one as well.

I need a drink.