Michele Bachmann: Still Talking

Pictured: Michele Bachmann, with some Turner fellow

Remember Real America's very own Michele Bachmann? She's the Congresswoman from Minnesota's 6th District, which is a oasis of horror in an otherwise tolerable at times state. Around election time, she said she was going to personally find every anti-American in Congress (hint: it's the Democrats) and personally crucify them, so their souls will be saved. Anyway, now she's back kicking the troof to the yoof. Here are some gems from a recent talk-radio appearance.

• ACORN, the radical squirrelfucking vote fraud machine that Barack Obama founded soon after he was born in Kenya, is being given $5 billion from the stimulus package by that guy, the President, even though they're under federal indictment (except they're not and they're . . . not.)
• President Obama has a grand scheme to redistrict the entire country with the census, leaving Democrats in power for "40 years." Aside from the fact that redistricting is done at the state level, not the federal level, cmon. These are the Democrats we're talking about. This si the same party that had a seemingly permanent majority after the 1964 elections and wound up giving away the country for the better part of 4 decades immediately following. Step your conspiracy game up, Michele.
• Apparently we're running out of rich people. Not sure how she even noticed; the rich people in her district consist of the warden at Stillwater and the one successful guy who graduated from St. Cloud State (if there is one.)
• "We are LITERALLY losing our country." She said this. God I hate people who don't know what literally means but say it anyway. It figureatively makes me want to jump off a bridge.
• Also, the stimulus will destroy medicine. That's right, liberal secular humanist Michele Bachmann has to rely on human beings and their "science" everytime she gets sick, instead of praying to Baby Jesus to drive the Flu Demons from her insides like a Real American. Sellout.

No matter what happens with our awful Senate recount, Michele Bachmann will always be the funniest person ever sent to Congress by the state of Minnesota.

NORM!

Life's going okay for Norm Coleman. Despite a down year for Republicans, he's currently ahead of Baggage Handler #1 from Trading Places and looks to be headed for another six years in the Senate.

So why did he say possibly the most blatantly false statement anyone has said in this entire lie-happy election season?

Coleman told the Mankato Free Press (the paper that routinely gets beaten like a pinata by the Strib and the Pioneer Press on Vikings training camp stories despite seemingly holding home field advantage) that not only is the bailout not going to cost any money, but that it will turn a profit down the road.

“The government could make 10 or 20 times what it pays on this, possibly,” Coleman said during a campaign stop at Christy’s Cafe in North Mankato Saturday morning.

Coleman said the government takeover of Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae, AIG and others was necessary but said “I worry a little bit,” about the government spending perhaps a trillion dollars or more to shore up failing financial institutions.

Coleman now says he presumes he wasn't talking about this particular bailout, but bailouts in general. That would seem to make his use of the phrase "could make" a misquote, although Coleman isn't denying the quote the MFP used.

Look, no one likes the bailout, but we all accept it as an inevitability. Politicians don't like it because it makes them look like hypocrites when they talk about not wasting taxpayer money, even though they pretty much have to vote for it anyway. The people being bailed out don't like it because it basically means they've failed at life. Citizens don't like it because a ton of out money has to pay for it and we get absolutely nothing in return.

He's still going to win, but Coleman just killed his credibility on economic matters.

Pressure Busts Pipes

The Republican National Convection Oven


Like the old saying goes, if you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen...

John McCain is already screaming for an end to the avalanche of questions surrounding Sarah Palin, the Vice Presidential candidate he announced just last Friday.

According to McCain's campaign officials, all of the criticism focused on Palin is a "faux media scandal designed to destroy the first female Republican nominee for vice president."

Or people could be genuinely interested in an unknown entity that came out of left field to become a VP candidate over much more established and recognized names.

Nah, that couldn't be.

The Associated Press reported that Palin has several controversial items on her record, including:

*A private attorney is authorized to spend $95,000 of state money to defend her against accusations of abuse of power (allegedly she fired the Public Safety Commissioner because he refused to fire her ex-brother-in-law).

*Palin sought pork-barrel projects for her city and state, contrary to her reformist image.

*Her husband once belonged to a fringe political group in Alaska, with some members supporting secession from the United States.

*She has acknowledged smoking marijuana in the past.

Somebody has alot of explaining to do.

Seriously, no.

Please, no.

Just, no.

It was embarrassing enough the first time. Just DON'T, Jesse. Please.

Johnny Sack appears in pro-Coleman ad

Hey, look. It's an actual kinda celebrity in a political ad. Vincent Curatola, aka Johnny Sack from The Sopranos, is in the new ad sponsored by the Minnesota chapter of Coaltion for a Democratic Workplace (CDW.) The ad centers around the Employee Free Choice Act, a bill currently stalled in the US Senate that would allow for employees to unionize if a majority of workers sign their support for a union, without having to go through a formal election. Supporters (like Al Franken and apparently those shifty Eyetalians) say it allows employees easier access to the benefits of being in a union, while opponents (like CDW and Norm Coleman) say that allowing employees to unionize without voting in a secret ballot election robs them of their privacy.

Stay tuned to see if any other supporting actors from off-the-air HBO shows make any more appearances in political ads. Bonus points go to whoever can get him to appear in an ad.

Minnesota: Land of 10,000 Video Crops

The hell kind of state is this?

The US Senate race in Minnesota between Norm Coleman and Al Franken has officially turned weird. Some liberal blogs in Minnesota accused the Coleman campaign of super-imposing Senator Coleman's wife Laurie into an ad. Check it out.



The position of Laurie Coleman in the kitchen, the way that she appears brighter than the rest of the commercial, the delayed reactions and the fact that she lives in California were what started the speculation. But the Coleman campaign called it goofy conspiracy theory by left-leaning liberals and stated that she was there the whole time. There's pics and video of her on the set, so that was that and we got on with the rest of our lives.

Until now. The Coleman campaign shot back at the accusations with another commercial. The point is either that Al Franken isn't a "real" Minnesotan or that Norm is a big fan of the "role play" segment on PTI.



Wow. Personally, I don't see what the big deal was over the first video. Even if it was done with a green screen (and judging from the behind the scenes footage it was not,) so what? It's a TV commercial. What difference does it make if his wife was actually there or not? And since that myth (which was a petty and superficial thing to get upset over to begin with) has been debunked, why make the new spot? All it does is draw attention to something that was bound to be forgotten by the end of the month anyway.

And NEITHER of these guys were actually born here (they're both originally from NYC,) so who gives a rat's ass who's more of a "real" Minnesotan? As far as I'm concerned, neither one of them gets to play that card. Now will these two PLEASE talk about something "real" Minnesotans care about? Like Kevin Love's outlet passing.

Good enough, smart enough, but do people like him?

DFL Senate candidate Al Franken

Over the weekend, Al Franken was endorsed at the Minnesota Democratic Farmer-Labor party convention as it's candidate to take on Republican Senator Norm Coleman in November. Franken, the former comedian, Saturday Night Live writer/performer and author, won fairly easily, with the only competition coming from college professor/activist Jack Nelson-Pallmeyer.

Even though Franken had been the heavy favorite to win the endorsement heading into the convention, his nomination wasn't without controversy. According to MinnPost, the DFL feminist caucus had some concerns over an essay Franken wrote for Playboy (it involves robot blowjobs) and some of his SNL material.

Though Franken was able to win their support, the Coleman campaign is going to hammer Franken with his past and try to paint him as a "Manhattan/Hollywood" outsider with little understanding of Midwestern values (which are pro human-blowjob for the most part.) But who will be the first candidate to mention Lateline?